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19th June 2012
everything you love, you feel or kill
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ask every atom in your body and they're sure to tell you - friend, i'm old as time and older still - and you are made of everything you love, you feel, or kill, i will outlive you, and forgive you, and be just a baby still
when i was talking about my ayahuasca experience in ecuador i wrote about how i was blissfully laying under the starry sky. whilst this was happening the shaman was chanting inside his hut and under more 'normal' circumstances (clearly an inappropriate word to use in connection to ayahuasca) i would have been respectful and joined him. but i felt so content and had a really strong desire to listen to my own music, specifically the song atoms by nana grizol. i had my ipod in my pocket, so without a second thought i plugged myself in and felt the music resonate in a way that it never had before. in particular the final verse:

and nothing ever does begin like nothing ever ends
ask every atom in your body and they're sure to tell you
"friend, i'm old as time and older still
and you are made of everything you love, you feel, or kill
i will outlive you, and forgive you, and be just a baby still"


which sounded indescribably profound. after a while i yearned for more comfort, so i retreated back to my bedroom which was about 50 metres away from the hut. i lay under my mosquito net, listening to the rest of my nana grizol collection with a huge smile on my face. i didn't count how many songs i had gone through before my friend appeared at my doorway asking if i was ok as the shaman was calling for me and i had seemingly disappeared. i unsuccessfully tried to explain how comfortable i was but in the end i semi-reluctantly agreed to return to for a cleansing ceremony followed by a second cup of potion and a strikingly different trip. i have lots of different memories from the whole ayahuasca experience, but whenever i listen to nana grizol now i'm taken back to that night under the stars... and i smile.

here's the original
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19/06/2012
everything you love, you feel or kill
when i was talking about my ayahuasca experience in ecuador i wrote about how i was blissfully laying under the starry sky. whilst this was happening the shaman was chanting inside his hut and under more 'normal' circumstances (clearly an inappropriate word to use in connection to ayahuasca) i would have been respectful and joined him. but i felt so content and had a really strong desire to listen to my own music, specifically the song atoms by nana grizol. i had my ipod in my pocket, so without a second thought i plugged myself in and felt the music resonate in a way that it never had before. in particular the final verse:

and nothing ever does begin like nothing ever ends
ask every atom in your body and they're sure to tell you
"friend, i'm old as time and older still
and you are made of everything you love, you feel, or kill
i will outlive you, and forgive you, and be just a baby still"


which sounded indescribably profound. after a while i yearned for more comfort, so i retreated back to my bedroom which was about 50 metres away from the hut. i lay under my mosquito net, listening to the rest of my nana grizol collection with a huge smile on my face. i didn't count how many songs i had gone through before my friend appeared at my doorway asking if i was ok as the shaman was calling for me and i had seemingly disappeared. i unsuccessfully tried to explain how comfortable i was but in the end i semi-reluctantly agreed to return to for a cleansing ceremony followed by a second cup of potion and a strikingly different trip. i have lots of different memories from the whole ayahuasca experience, but whenever i listen to nana grizol now i'm taken back to that night under the stars... and i smile.

here's the original