hotel madrid in barcelona is the worst sex hotel that i've ever stayed in. how's that for an opening sentence? i imagine you may have a few follow up questions like, why was i staying in a sex hotel? is that something i do a lot? why was it so bad? and what was i doing in barcelona? all valid responses... let me explain. barcelona is the name of a city in venezuela as well as spain, it looked kinda pretty so i added it to my route. when i arrived i discovered it was pretty, but also pretty expensive, so the cheapest place i could stay (which was still twice the price of my previous accommodation) was the aforementioned hotel madrid. truth be told i've only one other point of reference - sol y luna motel
which i accidentally found myself in when i was travelling through paraguay. so, where did the barcelonian madrid fail? well there was the freezing cold air conditioning which leaked like a tap all over the floor. i had the bright idea to put a 10 litre bucket under it before i went to bed and in the morning it was almost overflowing. there was a constant influx of mosquitos that were far too plentiful to eradicate. and these mosquitos were bold, they didn't fly around and weigh up their options, no they just flew straight for the flesh. the bathroom... ooh the bathroom... i'd use the word skanky but that's unfair on the word skank. and then there were the roaches. it was their room, i was their guest and they were everywhere, crawling on the floor, up the walls, in my shoes. if i got too cold and turned the a/c off they would proliferate and the walls would move. i tells ya the sol y luna motel was (and literally is) a castle in comparison.
just to confuse things this is a sign from a different hotel which i saw in maracay whilst waiting for the bus to barcelona. he knew the few hours sleep i'd manage on that bus would be but a distant, fond memory compared to what followed. here's the original